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"Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor."
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"A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist."
"Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations."
"Only the Prince of Peace gives peace."
"There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't."
"A Unitarian very earnestly disbelieves what everyone else believes."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"Religion is a cultural relic inherited from ancient civilizations that doctrinal influence persists globally in modern times. Religious people rely upon their notional belief in the primal innocence of human beings in order to support the abstract supposition of inherently benevolent God guiding human souls."
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce
"Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized."
"Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."
Man,
"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
"Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure."
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