"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."

Time, Acting, Theories

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"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."

Exlpore more Time quotes

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Measurement, Change

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

Time, Past, Change, Possibility, Hope

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Bubble, Ocean

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Time, Life, Haste, Housekeeping

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet

Time, God, Idea, Invention

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Time, Work, Process, Patience

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

Hermann Hesse, German Novelist

Time, Eternity

"The value of time is immeasurable."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

Time, Immeasurable, Worth, Life

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

Lauren Oliver, American Author

Time, Moment, World, Stillness

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Time, Today, Truth, Wisdom, Inspirational

Explore more quotes by Joe Rogan

"Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken."

Career, Hunger, Hurt

"People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it."

People, Want

"My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends."

Act, Friends

"If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time."

Time, People, Actor, Film

"I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking."

Funny, Movies, Talking

"It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in."

Time, Career, Hurt, Swearing

"Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out."

Idea, Action, Living

"I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way."

Funny, Thought, Network

"Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title."

Art, Comedy, Content

"The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time."

Funny, Time, Trying