"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."

Time, Acting, Theories

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"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."

Exlpore more Time quotes

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Measurement, Change

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

Time, Past, Change, Possibility, Hope

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Time, Life, Bubble, Ocean

"Wouldn't it be amazing if you could travel into the future, see where you messed up, and then go back in time to rearrange things in order to make your future better? You can. If you can foresee regret, you can mind-travel to the future. If you can train yourself to mind-travel effectively, you can intentionally affect your future by doing something about it today."

Richie Norton, American Author

Time, Regret, Future, Action

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet

Time, Day, Forget, Tomorrow, Spirit

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Time, Life, Haste, Housekeeping

"Time takes it all whether you want it to or not, time takes it all. Time bares it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again."

Stephen King, American Author

Time, Regret, Today, Future

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet

Time, God, Idea, Invention

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Time, Work, Process, Patience

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

Hermann Hesse, German Novelist

Time, Eternity

Explore more quotes by Joe Rogan

"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."

Time, Acting, Theories

"If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?"

Talking,

"Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much."

Soul, People, Mind

"If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time."

Time, People, Actor, Film

"The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time."

Funny, Time, Trying

"It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks."

Funny,

"I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion."

Care, Gay, Illusion, Nothing

"I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with."

Work,

"After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird."

People, Acting

"Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that."

Actor, Actors, Talking