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Stephen King

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

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"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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Assegid Habtewold

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

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"For me, that emotional payoff is what it's all about. I want you to laugh or cry when you read a story...or do both at the same time. I want your heart, in other words. If you want to learn something, go to school."
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"Close your eyes and click your heals three times...because there's no place like Dome."
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"When an imaginative person gets into mental trouble, the line between seeming and being has a way of disappearing."
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"Most people are optimists, although they may claim they are not. People who call themselves realists are often the biggest optimists of all."
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"We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, I know that, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long."
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"It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost."
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"What about reality, you ask? Well, as far as I'm concerned, reality can go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. I've never held much of a brief for reality, at least in my written work. All too often it is to the imagination what ash stakes are to vampires."
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"Twas something else. I had come to hate her, you see. I had come to wish her dead, and that was what held me back."
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"Time and tide wait for no man."
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"I'm going crazy, Louis thought wonderingly. Wheeeeee!"
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