Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."

Whitney M. Young, American Activist

Humor, Blind

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Humor, Logic, Absurd, Heart, Amusement

"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."

Simon Pegg, British Comedian

Humor, American, Self, Sense

"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."

Hunter S. Thompson, American Journalist

Humor, Eye, Hunting

"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Alimony, Husband, Money, Law

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Happiness, Truth, Wisdom

"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Hair, Identity, Funny

"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Regret, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"There's folks 'ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i' their boots."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Fault, Responsibility, Blame

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

Explore more quotes by David Brinkley

"Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important."

Attitude

"Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians."

Politics

"People have the illusion that all over the world, all the time, all kinds of fantastic things are happening. When in fact, over most of the world, most of the time, nothing is happening."

Wisdom

"Being an anchor is not just a matter of sitting in front of a camera and looking pretty."

Leadership

"The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were."

Media

"This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it."

Humor

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."

Motivational

"The only way to do news on television is not to be terrified of it."

Media

"I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system."

Humor