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"I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system."
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"I'm not a very good advertisement for the American school system."
Humor
"People have the illusion that all over the world, all the time, all kinds of fantastic things are happening. When in fact, over most of the world, most of the time, nothing is happening."
Wisdom
"The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were."
Media
"Numerous politicians have seized absolute power and muzzled the press. Never in history has the press seized absolute power and muzzled the politicians."
Politics
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
Motivational
"This is the first convention of the space age - where a candidate can promise the moon and mean it."
Humor
"The only way to do news on television is not to be terrified of it."
Media
"Being an anchor is not just a matter of sitting in front of a camera and looking pretty."
Leadership
"Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important."
Attitude
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
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