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"When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur."
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"My teaching began in 1936 at Iowa State College where T. W. Schultz was the department chairman."
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Personal Development
"One half who graduate from college never read another book."
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Personal Development
"Anyway, when I was a kid, I dutifully went to the Sydney Technical and Fine Arts College."
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Personal Development
"The role of a liberal arts college within a university is to be a genuine part of that university, giving and responding to the other parts."
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Personal Development
"My favorite NBA team are the houston rockets and favorite college team are the duke blue devils."
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Personal Development
"I always loved comedy but I didn't start formally until I was in college."
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Personal Development
"I went to college in Mississippi; I'm from Louisiana."
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Personal Development
"Sounds so silly, but I want to accomplish getting my kids through college."
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Personal Development
"The economic piece is still missing, since it's so hard to attract industry to reservations, but spiritually and educationally, they're doing just fine. Each tribe has a community college now, and they teach the language, they teach the traditions."
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Personal Development
"You know, I come from six generations of college graduates."
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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