top of page
.png){kind=small}
"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world."
Standard
Customized
More
"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"Only the old are innocent. That is what the Victorians understood, and the Christians. Original sin is a property of the young. The old grow beyond corruption very quickly."
Corruption
"If God had been a liberal, we wouldn't have had the Ten Commandments - we'd have the Ten Suggestions."
God
"Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail."
Cultural
"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world."
Humor
"The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth."
Truth
"English history is all about men liking their fathers, and American history is all about men hating their fathers and trying to burn down everything they ever did."
History
"You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes."
Politics
"My experience of ships is that on them one makes an interesting discovery about the world. One finds one can do without it completely."
Experience
bottom of page