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"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world."
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"My experience of ships is that on them one makes an interesting discovery about the world. One finds one can do without it completely."
Experience
"English history is all about men liking their fathers, and American history is all about men hating their fathers and trying to burn down everything they ever did."
History
"You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes."
Politics
"The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth."
Truth
"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world."
Humor
"Only the old are innocent. That is what the Victorians understood, and the Christians. Original sin is a property of the young. The old grow beyond corruption very quickly."
Corruption
"If God had been a liberal, we wouldn't have had the Ten Commandments - we'd have the Ten Suggestions."
God
"Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail."
Cultural
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
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