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Jerry Seinfeld

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

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"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

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Akiroq Brost

"The trouble with many men is that they have got just enough religion to make them miserable. If there is not joy in religion, you have got a leak in your religion."

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Akiroq Brost

"An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men."

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Akiroq Brost

"Whenever women catfight, men think it's going to turn to sex."

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Akiroq Brost

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."

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Akiroq Brost

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

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Akiroq Brost

"Great men hallow a whole people, and lift up all who live in their time."

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Akiroq Brost

"I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it."

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Akiroq Brost

"What men are among the other formations of the earth, artists are among men."

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Akiroq Brost

"We hold that what one man cannot morally do, a million men cannot morally do, and government, representing many millions of men, cannot do."

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Akiroq Brost

"So I still seized the power, but I felt that if I officially made myself the boss, in black and white, it would be too intimidating for the other producers and the other men who worked on the show. In other words, I had the power, but I gave them the title."

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Jerry Seinfeld
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
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