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"On some level any appearance on Television can be seen as a product endorsement."
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"She has enough black eyeliner on to outline a corpse, and her skin's so pale she looks like she's just broken dawn."
"Her face is silting up, like a pond; layers are accumulating. Every once in a while, when she can afford the time, she spends a few days at a spa north of the city, drinking vegetable juice and having ultrasound treatments, in search of her original face, the one she knows is under there somewhere; she comes back feeling toned up and virtuous, and hungry."
"There was a photograph of Trout. He was an old man with a full black beard. He looked like a frightened, aging Jesus, whose sentence to crucifixion had been commuted to imprisonment for life."
"The curve of my waist in a tight fitting summer dress can really make me new friends."
"Most of us don't notice how great we look until years, even decades later. Not long ago, I was looking at photos of myself at various ages and weights-way before the neckular deterioration began, way before the fanny pack of menopause-and I could see how gorgeous I must have looked to everyone else."
"If Fancy's lips had been real cherries probably Dick's would have appeared deeply stained."
"The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar... Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted, and always derided as fools and madmen."
"Some women wear a miniskirt to reveal their thighs, some wear one to conceal their age."
"You guys are so... dark. Even if I used flash, I'm not sure it would come out.""Y-yeah," Percy managed. "You guys aren't photogenic."
"Has a woman who knew that she was well dressed ever caught a cold?"
Explore more quotes by Marc Maron
"Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap."
"When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate."
"I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired."
"We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice."
"The demand for standup in the eighties was created by how easy it was to exploit 'comedians' and create very cheap television programming."
"As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible."
"Comedy is obviously a matter of personal taste and the world always needs a clown and some people have no taste at all and any clown will do."
"It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug use doesn't seem to have that same renegade sense of adventure that it once did."
"In the sixties and seventies you could probably name all the great comics. It was still special."
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