"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

Happiness, Hurt

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"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."

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"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."

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"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."

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"When turkeys mate they think of swans."

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"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

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"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

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"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?""

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