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Billy Crystal

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

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"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

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Asa Don Brown

"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

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Asa Don Brown

"Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor."

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Asa Don Brown

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."

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Asa Don Brown

"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."

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Asa Don Brown

"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."

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Asa Don Brown

"I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all."

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Asa Don Brown

"Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation."

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Asa Don Brown

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

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Asa Don Brown

"All men are somewhat ridiculous and grotesque, just because they are men; and in this respect artists might well be regarded as man multiplied by two. So it is, was, and shall be."

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Asa Don Brown

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

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Billy Crystal
"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."
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Billy Crystal
"Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising."
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Billy Crystal
"I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."
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Billy Crystal
"Gentlemen, start your egos."
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Billy Crystal
"Change is such hard work."
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Billy Crystal
"I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish."
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Billy Crystal
"Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro."
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Billy Crystal
"My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love."
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Billy Crystal
"From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do."
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Billy Crystal
"That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul."
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