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"We signed up for Showtime, which I think put us on a Homeland Security list somewhere."
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"No one from the beginning of time has had security."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Security is a double-edged sword: While a fence sure protects the fenced, it also imprisons the protected."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Not only is privatizing Social Security not the solution to Social Security, it would exacerbate the problem."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But I want to just caution, it is not incumbent on the United States to prove that Saddam Hussein is trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction. He's already demonstrated that he's trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I still have my original social security card signed when I was 13."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The bottom line is, if somebody doesn't go through proper security screening, they're not going to go on the flight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I probably was as bad as a security guard as I was as a tie salesman."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Social Security has been effective for 70 years; prior predictions of its demise have been totally overstated."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Without Social Security, poverty rates for African American seniors would more than double."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Even without reforms, the Social Security fund will be able to meet 100 percent of its obligations until 2042."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things."
Family
"We signed up for Showtime, which I think put us on a Homeland Security list somewhere."
Security
"What goes for sex goes double for politics."
Politics
"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
Friendship
"As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket."
Radical
"I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times."
Woman
"They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India."
Woman
"Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one."
Woman
"We really got a lot of very conservative gay people. You could look at the figures from the last election and realize that a third of the gay movement voted Republican."
People
"Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefore more accessible for women. But the very form of stand-up is masculine."
Woman
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