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"The more you read about politics the more you got to admit that each party is worse than the other."
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"Politicians look for interests not people."

"And they that rule in England, in stately conclaves met, alas, alas for England they have no graves as yet."

"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."

"Political or military commentators, like astrologers, can survive almost any mistake, because their more devoted followers do not look to them for an appraisal of the facts but for the stimulation of nationalistic loyalties."

"In my view, any government whose state is perpetually at war, and remains so in spite of initiatives to make peace, is incompetent and unfit and should resign."

"If you have to say or do something controversial, aim so that people will hate that they love it and not love that they hate it."
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."

"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
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