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"I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall."
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"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."
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Personal Development
"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
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Personal Development
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"
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Personal Development
"When you're lost in space, it's time to buy some new furniture!"
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Personal Development
"If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd."
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Personal Development
"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."
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Personal Development
"It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad."
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Personal Development
"You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to William Byrd's "We Are the Champions" and Beethoven's "I Want To Break Free." Neither were as good as Vaughan Williams's "Fat-Bottomed Girls."
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Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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Personal Development
"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"
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"If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine."
Philosophy
"I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through."
Conflict
"Oh, China. How I have missed you.''And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better."
Love
"Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.''Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting."
Fantasy
"He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger."
Humor
"She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties."
Growth
"Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else."
Psychology
"Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first."
Logic
"Which college?''Hmm?''Which college do you go to?'Fletcher nodded. 'Yes.''I'm sorry?''Oh,' Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie's parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head."
Social
"He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.''I love you.''That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.''Not until you say yes.''You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.''Be my wife.' 'Shut the hell up."
Romance
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