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"My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle - aged Asian lady who hadn't noticed he was with his family. He was certainly pleased about it."
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"My mother is my friendWho shares with me her breadAll my hopelessness cured!Her company makes me secured!"
"This is part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there's someone who is watching out for them. It's what I missed so much when my mother died-what I call your 'spiritual security'-knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame."
"My mama is my feeding bottle... She never goes empty no matter how deep I sip! Thank you mum!"
"Have you ever observed that when a man gets a son he takes all the credit, and when he gets a daughter he blames his wife? And if they do not breed at all, we say it is because her womb is barren. We do not say it is because his seed is bad."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
"That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil."
"I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again."
"The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those - maybe everyone - who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something - innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed"
"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."
"I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane."
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