"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."

Jokes, Trying

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"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."

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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."

Emo Philips, American Comedian

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"I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show."

Samantha Bee, American Comedian

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"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."

Sam Kinison, American Comedian

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"You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. "Get the fish to fight for you?"Thanks, Percy said. "I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."

Marilyn Monroe, American Actress

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"Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."

Dylan Moran, Irish Comedian

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"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."

David Cross, American Actor

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"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."

Eugene Ionesco, French Dramatist

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"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."

Mitch Hedberg, American Comedian

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Explore more quotes by David Cross

"It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny."

Funny, Time, Trying

"You can't just yell jokes at people."

People, Jokes

"I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry."

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"Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat."

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"Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush."

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"I love Tinkle, it's really the most fun I've had in years."

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"I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner."

Hate,

"I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end."

People, Cause, Compromise, End

"We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins."

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"Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about."

News, Talking