"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."

Daughter, Kids, Now, Respect

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"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."

Exlpore more Daughter quotes

"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."

Lenny Bruce, American Comedian

Daughter,

"My daughter is one of the associate producers on two shows for Disney. I am really proud of her."

Mary Ann Mobley, American Actress

Daughter, Disney

"So I have four daughters, about ten granddaughters, and five grandsons."

Pat Boone, American Musician

Daughter, Daughters

"When I got this role, my daughter Molly said, 'Dad, you've come full circle."

Jeffrey Tambor, American Actor

Daughter,

"We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks too."

Julia Roberts, American Actress

Daughter, Being, Deep, Drinks

"All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters."

Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian Musician

Daughter, Daughters, Faces, Names, Sons

"When my daughter asks, 'What do you do?', every movie I have a different answer. As she grows, she wants more explanations."

Michelle Williams, American Actress

Daughter, Explanations

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Daughter, Baby, Order, Wives

"It's obvious that they're going to want Ali's daughter and Frazier's daughter to fight it out."

Robert Goulet, American Musician

Daughter, Fight, Obvious, Want

"Mothers don't let your daughters grow up to be models unless you're present."

Janice Dickinson, American Model

Daughter, Daughters, Mothers, Present

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

Bed

"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."

Love

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"

Mother

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

Baby

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

God

"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."

Man

"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

God

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Exlpore more Daughter quotes

"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."

"My daughter is one of the associate producers on two shows for Disney. I am really proud of her."

"So I have four daughters, about ten granddaughters, and five grandsons."

"When I got this role, my daughter Molly said, 'Dad, you've come full circle."

"We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks too."

"All that remains is the faces and the names of the wives and the sons and the daughters."

"When my daughter asks, 'What do you do?', every movie I have a different answer. As she grows, she wants more explanations."

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

"It's obvious that they're going to want Ali's daughter and Frazier's daughter to fight it out."

"Mothers don't let your daughters grow up to be models unless you're present."

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"

"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."

"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."

"I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are."

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."

"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."