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Johnny Vegas

"You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led."

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"You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led."

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"To see a player dunk in women's college basketball is just amazing. It's great to see that the game has reached that level now."

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"The truth is there are two hundred white women raped in America by a black man for every one black woman raped by whites."

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"Forcing women in or near land combat will hurt recruiting, not help."

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"Much of the demand for women in combat comes from female officers who are eager for medals and promotions."

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"Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women."

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"I like working with actresses, and I like women a lot, not for obvious reasons, but just in that that there's so much about what they bring to the scene that keeps it so interesting. Their instincts are so different, and they never explain them to you."

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Amber Hurdle

"A women knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking."

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"I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women."

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"I found through my fan mail that women... really wanted a role model."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

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"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
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"I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again."
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"If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it."
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"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."
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Johnny Vegas
"You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led."
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Johnny Vegas
"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
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Johnny Vegas
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
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"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
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"Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!"
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"There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource."
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