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"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."
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"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."
"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."
"I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all."
"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."
"People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes it needs as much courage to walk with any kind of bearing towards another person's habitual misery."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."
"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment."
"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
"After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year."
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