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Robert Benchley

"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."

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"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."

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"Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom."

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"When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung."

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"There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men."

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"But men are men; the best sometimes forget."

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"The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same."

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"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."

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"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course."

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"All men are tempted. There is no man that lives that can't be broken down, provided it is the right temptation, put in the right spot."

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"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."

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"A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth."

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"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
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"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."
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"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
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"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Robert Benchley
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
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"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
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"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
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"The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps."
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"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
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