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"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked."
Day,
Standard
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"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."
Father
"Old is always fifteen years from now."
Now
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
Life
"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked."
Day
"Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much."
Kids
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
End
"Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger."
Work
"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."
Father
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Success
"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
Parenting
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"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Better one's House be too little one day than too big all the Year after."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I did feel from day one that I was a born performer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the so-called material philosophy of the present day."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Every day, I have a most embarrassing moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No charges have been filed by the L.A. district attorney's office, and for that I am appreciative. I have said it before, but we all make mistakes, and the day will come soon enough where you no longer read of mine in the tabloids."
Author Name
Personal Development
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