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"I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
"She watched him for a long moment, an adorably annoyed frown wrinkling her forehead. "You're obnoxious when you're right."
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
Explore more quotes by Fran Lebowitz
"Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat."
"If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words."
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."
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