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"Dios mio, I think my brother lost his balls somewhere between here and Mexico. Or maybe Brittany has them zipped inside that fancy purse (of hers)."
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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"Milk is the only juice in a world of cows."
Explore more quotes by Simone Elkeles


"This connection we have isn't going away, it's only getting stronger. Because the more I spend time with her, the closer I want to be."


"If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard."


"Hey, Carlos,' the Professor says when he walks in. 'How was REACH?''It sucked.''Can you be more specific?' my guardian asks.'It really sucked,' I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word."


"And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours."


"I thought we were gonna take this relationship slow.''A back rub is harmless.'My eyes roam over her kick-ass bikini-covered bod. 'I'll have you know I've been intimate with girls wearin' a lot more."


"Snakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn rock that's ten feet below the summit?"


"Do you think about making love with me?'I lie awake most nights, fantasizing about sleeping next to her ... loving her. 'Right now, muneca, makin' love to you is the only thing on my mind."


"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"


"What are you boys doing? she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.'Arguin', Carlos says matter-of-factly."
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