"Goldilocks in the flesh. He zoned out for a second, lost in the smooth texture of her skin, so he had zero time to react when the bikini top flying through the air hit him in the chest....She contemplated the ground for a second. 'I'd like my top back, please.'I don't know,' he teased. 'It could be construed as a deadly weapon."

Humor, Attraction, Playfulness, Beach

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"Goldilocks in the flesh. He zoned out for a second, lost in the smooth texture of her skin, so he had zero time to react when the bikini top flying through the air hit him in the chest....She contemplated the ground for a second. 'I'd like my top back, please.'I don't know,' he teased. 'It could be construed as a deadly weapon."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

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"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."

Aristotle, Greek Philosopher

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"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Wit, Blood, Language

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

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"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

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"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

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"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

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"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

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Explore more quotes by Robin Bielman

"Hurry,' she breathed. 'I need you to fill me up.' 'Baby, I'm gonna do more than that."

Water

"Live a little...Try new things...Don't be a wimp."

Loneliness

"I don't bite, Lucy.'She wanted him to. She wanted him to bite and suck and nibble and have his wicked way with her. She had a feeling he did things to a girl that made her body so turned on it took hours to turn off."

Desire

"God, you smell good. Your pheromones are a definite mating call to mine."

Desire

"I'm here for your pants and shoes."

Desire

"What prince wouldn't make a country girl a little restless? Those eyes, that mouth, the broad chest, were a royal combination unlike any other. He only held power over her if she let him, though. He brushed his teeth just like every other person. Put on his shoes one foot at a time. Prince Theo was just extraordinarily normal. And she could handle him and her story. Probably."

Success

"Ready to hit the sack?'She choked on the last slide of her ice cream and cleared her throat, 'With you?'... 'You offering?'No! I'm not offering.' She pushed to her feet and then with a softer tone added, 'Are you asking?"

Leadership

"She'd jumped out of plenty of planes. Albeit with a parachute in place, but she pushed that worry aside."

Order

"Darlin', I do some of my best work on my ass."

Boldness

"His dimples should come with an advisory label: Will cause hearts to flutter and panties to spontaneously combust."

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