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Russell Baker

"When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools."

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"When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools."

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Amber Hurdle

"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."

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"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Amber Hurdle

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

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Amber Hurdle

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

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Amber Hurdle

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

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Russell Baker
"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."
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Russell Baker
"Americans like fat books and thin women."
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Russell Baker
"Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."
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Russell Baker
"Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity."
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Russell Baker
"Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it."
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Russell Baker
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
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Russell Baker
"You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart."
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Russell Baker
"Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them."
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Russell Baker
"Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity."
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Russell Baker
"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."
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