"There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Don't bother."

Humor, Argument, Gender, Conflict

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"There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Don't bother."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Ziad K. Abdelnour

"If you need an alarm clock, you need a new job."

Work

"I'm strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness."

Strength

"Age is just reality we create for ourselves."

Acceptance

"The best investors are visionaries-they look beyond the present. By the same token, vision remains vision until you focus, do the work, and bring it down to earth where it will do some good."

Success

"Don't ever be afraid to show who you really are, because as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else's opinion matters."

Authenticity

"Words are useless without action. Stop fantasizing and just DO it. Be a "game changer" or get played like an idiot."

Success

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity, especially when it comes to bureaucrats in a government who has no clueabout money matters."

Politics

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Explore more quotes by Ziad K. Abdelnour

"If you need an alarm clock, you need a new job."

"I'm strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness."

"Age is just reality we create for ourselves."

"The best investors are visionaries-they look beyond the present. By the same token, vision remains vision until you focus, do the work, and bring it down to earth where it will do some good."

"Never put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."

"The longer you fight, the stronger you become."

"Work smart, stay informed, never give up, and great things will happen."

"Don't ever be afraid to show who you really are, because as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else's opinion matters."

"Words are useless without action. Stop fantasizing and just DO it. Be a "game changer" or get played like an idiot."

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity, especially when it comes to bureaucrats in a government who has no clueabout money matters."