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"Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."

"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."

"Intellectuals are people who believe that ideas are of more importance than values. That is to say, their own ideas and other people's values."

"We were too young to know better, and none of us were very aggressive people. It would have helped a lot if just one of us had been aggressive enough to say no."
Explore more quotes by Scott Adams


"If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."


"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers."


"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"


"Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive."


"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."
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