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Jeff Foxworthy

"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."

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"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."

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"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

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"A healthy world is made of healthy nations. A healthy nation is made of healthy families. And a healthy family can only be raised on the foundation of a monogamous relationship."

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"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."

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Jeff Foxworthy
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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Jeff Foxworthy
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."
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