"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."

Humor, Warning, Conflict, Observation

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"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Amber Tamblyn, American Actress

Humor, Religion, God, Sense

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."

Tom Berenger, American Actor

Humor, Day, Pressure, Sense

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, Religion, Diversity, Culture

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, God, Comedy, Fear, Laughter

Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs

"New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won't hit Charles's mate in front of his father."

Wisdom

"Stupid young girls who get caught alone in the forest fall prey to anything that crosses their paths, be the beast animal, human or shapeshifter."

Life

"For Adam, screwed-up bonding thing or not, I'd wait forever."Really? he asked in a tone I'd never heard from him before. Softer. Vulnerable. Adam didn't do vulnerable."Really what? I asked."Despite the way our bond scares you, despite the way someone in the pack played you, you'd still have me?He'd been listening to my thoughts. This time it didn't bother me."Adam, I told him, "I'd walk barefoot over hot coals for you."

Devotion

"Hard truths can be dealt with, triumphed over, but lies will destroy your soul."

Philosophy

"This place looks like the last scene in Hamlet."

Literature

"You can't cage an eagle for long without destroying it."

Freedom

31

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs

"New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won't hit Charles's mate in front of his father."

"A man learns with age, if he is lucky."

"Where does a werewolf sleep? Anywhere he wants to."

"Don't make light of any man's pain."

"Civilization is vastly overrated."

"Stupid young girls who get caught alone in the forest fall prey to anything that crosses their paths, be the beast animal, human or shapeshifter."

"Hard truths can be dealt with, triumphed over, but lies will destroy your soul."

"This place looks like the last scene in Hamlet."

"You can't cage an eagle for long without destroying it."