"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."

Humor, Warning, Conflict, Observation

24

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

Joss Whedon, American Writer

Humor, Survival, Life, Joy

Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs

"Civilization is vastly overrated."

Society

"This was not a man who wanted to give up his mate. This was a man trying to do the honorable thing-and give her a choice, no matter hiw much it cost him."

Morality

"Anger is stupid, and stupidity will kill you more surely than your opponent's blade."

Discipline

"Hard truths can be dealt with, triumphed over, but lies will destroy your soul."

Philosophy

"Stupid young girls who get caught alone in the forest fall prey to anything that crosses their paths, be the beast animal, human or shapeshifter."

Life

"If there was such evil in the world, was it possible that there was good, too?"

Philosophy

24

Standard

Customized

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

Explore more quotes by Patricia Briggs

"Civilization is vastly overrated."

"This was not a man who wanted to give up his mate. This was a man trying to do the honorable thing-and give her a choice, no matter hiw much it cost him."

"Anger is stupid, and stupidity will kill you more surely than your opponent's blade."

"Hard truths can be dealt with, triumphed over, but lies will destroy your soul."

"Stupid young girls who get caught alone in the forest fall prey to anything that crosses their paths, be the beast animal, human or shapeshifter."

"If there was such evil in the world, was it possible that there was good, too?"

"You cannot sacrifice the world for your children."

"Intelligent men are dangerous."

"Jumping Jehoshaphat. O Holy Night."

"I don't like it when I outweigh my men."