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Steven Wright

"If God dropped acid, would he see people?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian
God, People
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"If God dropped acid, would he see people?"

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"God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal."

Samuel Butler, British Poet
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"An omnipotent God is the only being with no reason to lie."

Mason Cooley, American Writer
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"Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God."

Francis Bacon, English Philosopher
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"God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best."

Voltaire, French Writer
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"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

Voltaire, French Writer
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"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer
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"It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance."

David Herbert Lawrence, English Writer
God, Humor, Performance, Being
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Asa Don Brown

"Charity never humiliated him who profited from it, nor ever bound him by the chains of gratitude, since it was not to him but to God that the gift was made."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery, French Novelist
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Asa Don Brown

"God's dice always have a lucky roll."

Sophocles, Greek Poet
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"I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best."

Walt Whitman, American Poet
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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now, Santa claus, Weather
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"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought, Reading
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"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car, Friend, Friends
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"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future,
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"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose, Books, Children
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,
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"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship, Friend, Baby
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"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time, Water
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