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"It's bad enough barging into Guild property, but we'll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won't stop at sarcasm. He might use' - Colon swallowed - 'irony."
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"The most effective way to be self disciplined, is to submit yourself to your words."
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Personal Development
"Children are the most reasonable about discipline. When they tell you not to do something, it's always because they know why."
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Personal Development
"Your daily choices and actions should be rational and productive."
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Personal Development
"The one who straightens out himself will attain moksha [will be liberated]. If you don't straighten out, people will beat you into doing so. The doorway to moksha [ultimate liberation] is narrow, so how will you be able to enter if you are obstinate?"
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Personal Development
"An army of disciplined sheep is greater than an army of undisciplined wolves."
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Personal Development
"There is no gift of principles, you must apply them if you want to move forward."
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Personal Development
"The standards of this new time are forcing us to put our lives in order before God."
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Personal Development
"Control yourself every passing second and make sure that no unit of time is being wasted."
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Personal Development
"If you understand that a wasted time is a wasted life, you will start running away from television, you will begin to run away from movies, you will run away from games like criminal case and candy crush."
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Personal Development
"People should not expect to eat if they did not work."
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Personal Development
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"But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."Like what?" said Adam suspiciously."Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes."An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale."
Ethics
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Humor
"One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation-lettuce farming, say-would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged."I'm good at it, he said."
Purpose
"Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself."
Writing
"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."
Politics
"It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and - " she stopped. "You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance." She sniffed. "Magic is mostly movin' stuff around."
Life
"Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you."
Wisdom
"Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent," said Miss Susan. "But answers do."
Wisdom
"Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
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