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Robert Benchley

"You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it."

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"You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it."

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"Father, I know you will hear me, I will speak."

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"We come into the world through a man and a woman. But life blessings us with many fathers and mothers."

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"A new baby is a bundle of hope, a smiling imagination, and a dancing dreams."

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"The real beauty of a house is always the happiness inside that house!"

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"A philanderer cannot be a parent - a parent cannot be a philanderer."

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"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

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"A healthy world is made of healthy nations. A healthy nation is made of healthy families. And a healthy family can only be raised on the foundation of a monogamous relationship."

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"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."

Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
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Robert Benchley
"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."
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Robert Benchley
"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."
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Robert Benchley
"I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine."
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Robert Benchley
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
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Robert Benchley
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
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Robert Benchley
"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."
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Robert Benchley
"There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that."
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Robert Benchley
"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."
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Robert Benchley
"The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps."
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