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Johnny Vegas

"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."

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"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."

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"It is not actual suffering but the taste of better things which excites people to revolt."

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

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"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue."

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"There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey."

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"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

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"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."

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"I am confident that, in the end, common sense and justice will prevail. I'm an optimist, brought up on the belief that if you wait to the end of the story, you get to see the good people live happily ever after."

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"A lot of people got lost in Hollywood while trying to become a star. They lost themselves."

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"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."

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"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."

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Johnny Vegas
"They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day."
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"My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with."
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"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."
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"I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia."
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"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
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"I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again."
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"If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it."
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"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."
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"You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led."
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"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
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