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Johnny Vegas

"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."

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"I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show."

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"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."

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"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

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"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

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"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it."

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"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

Explore more quotes by Johnny Vegas

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Johnny Vegas
"You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led."
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"I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia."
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"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."
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"Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!"
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"They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day."
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"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
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"I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again."
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"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."
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"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
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Johnny Vegas
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
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