"You've been smoking again, haven't you? Your eyes look like road maps and you're in full bastard mode."

Humor, Observation, Behavior, Recognition

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"You've been smoking again, haven't you? Your eyes look like road maps and you're in full bastard mode."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

Explore more quotes by Wayne Gerard Trotman

"Try to show grace, mercy and compassion, for one day you may need them."

Compassion

"The pessimist may call the optimist a fool; but who is more foolish, the happy individual who expects more happiness or the one who fills his life with bitterness and has only more despair to look forward to?"

Optimism

"Asleep you can experience many hours whilst only a few waking moments have passed. This is why dreams are an ideal platform for training."

Dreams

"For most people, art is only valuable if other people say it is; and artists are only worthwhile if they are either rich and famous, or dead."

Art

"It is a rule of life that we eventually become victims of the evil we do to others."

Karma

"The more you care, the more you fear."

Fear

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Explore more quotes by Wayne Gerard Trotman

"Try to show grace, mercy and compassion, for one day you may need them."

"The pessimist may call the optimist a fool; but who is more foolish, the happy individual who expects more happiness or the one who fills his life with bitterness and has only more despair to look forward to?"

"Asleep you can experience many hours whilst only a few waking moments have passed. This is why dreams are an ideal platform for training."

"For most people, art is only valuable if other people say it is; and artists are only worthwhile if they are either rich and famous, or dead."

"Music is nectar for the soul."

"A place without meaning is no place to be."

"The laws of men are not infallible."

"Where there is great love there is great harmony of thought."

"It is a rule of life that we eventually become victims of the evil we do to others."

"The more you care, the more you fear."