"You've been smoking again, haven't you? Your eyes look like road maps and you're in full bastard mode."

Humor, Observation, Behavior, Recognition

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"You've been smoking again, haven't you? Your eyes look like road maps and you're in full bastard mode."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

Humor, Satire, Criticism, Truth

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Wit, Blood, Language

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Humor, Women, Life, Creativity

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

Humor, Truth, Observation, Happiness

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

Explore more quotes by Wayne Gerard Trotman

"The happiest people on Earth are the ones who know love."

Happiness

"If you're with someone, but you're constantly worried about what they think of you, you're with the wrong person."

Relationship

"Burying your head in the sand does not make you invisible it only leads to suffocation."

Denial

"A true master will not deceive an able disciple. You are hampered by the limits you set and no limit can be set on skill."

Mastery

"A disloyal friend is no friend."

Loyalty

"I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended."

Literature

"Only by fully experiencing fear, can you ever hope to control it."

Fear

"I see you have returned, my love; and your mood is as dark as ever. Did your soldiers not adore you to your complete satisfaction?"

Authority

"The more you care, the more you fear."

Fear

"Be the great person you were always meant to be."

Potential