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Wilson Mizner

"God help those who do not help themselves."

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"God help those who do not help themselves."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have only ever made one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Call it Nature, Fate, Fortune; all these are names of the one and selfsame God."

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Amber Hurdle

"What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Anyone who truly loves God travels securely."

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Amber Hurdle

"God is a metaphor for that which trancends all levels of intellectual thought. It's as simple as that."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sometimes I wonder why God ever trusts talent in the hands of women, they usually make such an infernal mess of it. I think He must do it as a sort of ghastly joke."

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Amber Hurdle

"Teach him to think for himself? Oh, my God, teach him rather to think like other people!"

God,
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Amber Hurdle

"There are matters in the Bible, said to be done by the express commandment of God, that are shocking to humanity and to every idea we have of moral justice."

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Amber Hurdle

"Refuting anything in this worldly life is tantamount to refuting God. Even refuting stealing is tantamount to refuting God. This Stealing is a kind of laxative. It cleanses us and leaves."

Explore more quotes by Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something."
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Wilson Mizner
"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
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Wilson Mizner
"In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork."
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Wilson Mizner
"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."
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Wilson Mizner
"The first hundred years are the hardest."
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Wilson Mizner
"Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest."
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Wilson Mizner
"If you count all your assets you always show a profit."
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Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
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Wilson Mizner
"A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant."
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Wilson Mizner
"Failure has gone to his head."
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