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"No compliment can be eloquent, except as an expression of indifference."
Author Name
Personal Development


"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
Author Name
Personal Development


"Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company."
Author Name
Personal Development


"Every woman is just a different kind of problem."
Author Name
Personal Development


"If a woman possesses manly virtues one should run away from her; and if she does not possess them she runs away from herself."
Author Name
Personal Development


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Author Name
Personal Development


"There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass."
Author Name
Personal Development


"Anybody against women, against the ERA, should never be voted into office again."
Author Name
Personal Development


"I am not handsome, but when women hear me play, they come crawling to my feet."
Author Name
Personal Development


"Why should I limit myself to only one woman when I can have as many women as I want?"
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Personal Development
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"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Drink


"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
People


"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
Doubt


"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Men


"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!""
Nature


"Comedy is acting out optimism."
Optimism


"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
Right


"The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery."
Right


"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
Woman


"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
Nothing
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