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"I tell women not to believe everything they read about fashion."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a complicated set of opinions that women bring to the voting booth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think a woman gets more if she acts feminine."
Author Name
Personal Development
"After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The women I killed were filth - bastard prostitutes who were littering the streets. I was just cleaning up the place a bit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Women were freed from positive duties when they could not perform them, but not when they could."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
Right
"People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House."
People
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
Fight
"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
Woman
"I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out."
Woman
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Gay
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
Right
"Cricket is basically baseball on valium."
Baseball
"The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery."
Right
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
Baseball
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