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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
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"A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open."
"Many a thief is a better man than many a clergyman, and miles nearer to the gate of the kingdom."
Man,
"It matters little where a man may be at this moment; the point is whether he is growing."
"Out of timber so crooked as that from which man is made nothing entirely straight can be carved."
"A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
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