"I imagined she was going to say, You killed a Minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that. Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."

Humor, Truth, Life, Happiness

15

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I imagined she was going to say, You killed a Minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that. Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Anger, Truth, Expression

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Calm, Chastening

"You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Violence, Fatigue, Sarcasm

"And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?""Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!""My figurine.""In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!""Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Happiness, Truth, Power

"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Death, Confusion, Box

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Leg, Respect

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

Explore more quotes by Rick Riordan

"Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone!"

Conflict

"I think kids want the same thing from a book that adults want - a fast-paced story, characters worth caring about, humor, surprises, and mystery. A good book always keeps you asking questions, and makes you keep turning pages so you can find out the answers."

Books

"And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?""Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!""My figurine.""In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!""Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying."

Humor

"This is Annabeth, Jason said. "Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people."

Friendship

"Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...""Or we'll die?" I guessed."Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes.""Let's avoid the swords," I decided."

Danger

"She had to go on this quest. The fate of the world might depend on it. But part of him wanted to say: Forget the world. He didn't want to be without her."

Love

"Down in the water, Octavian yelled, "Get me out of here! I'll kill you!"Tempting, Percy called down."

Conflict

"Love is on every side, and no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you."

Love

"Jason always tried to build a good relationship with his team. He'd learned the hard way that if somebody was going to have your back in a fight, it was better if you found some common ground and trusted each other. But Nico wasn't easy to figure out."

Teamwork

"Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually."

Behavior