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"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."
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"You probably have to have redundant levee systems with canals in between them, like the Dutch have, to make sure that incoming water is channeled off to areas where you deal with it rather than have it drown you."
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Personal Development
"Good words cool more than cold water."
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Personal Development
"I came like Water, and like Wind I go."
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Personal Development
"I wouldn't exactly call it 'cooking' but I can make noodles. That means I can boil water, put the pasta in and wait until it's done."
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Personal Development
"It came to me then in a flash that obviously the temperature of the water was responsible for the nystagmus."
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Personal Development
"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led."
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Personal Development
"I have a bronze statue of myself, naked. I have these really big curls and water comes out of every curl. It's hot."
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Personal Development
"His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve."
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Personal Development
"I used to be a window cleaner. I got fired because I sometimes liked to drink the soapy water."
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Personal Development
"Candlestick was built on the water. It should have been built under it."
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"Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia."
Lie
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
Fish
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
Cure
"Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."
Drink
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
Decency
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."
Hate
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
Food
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
Being
"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."
Home
"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned."
May
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