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Fred Allen

"Television is the triumph of machine over people."

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"Television is the triumph of machine over people."

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Amber Hurdle

"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is not actual suffering but the taste of better things which excites people to revolt."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before."

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Amber Hurdle

"We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started."

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Amber Hurdle

"When people are taken out of their depths they lose their heads, no matter how charming a bluff they may put up."

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments."

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Amber Hurdle

"Some people displease with merit, and others' very faults and defects are pleasing."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can stroke people with words."

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Amber Hurdle

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

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Amber Hurdle

"Few people at the beginning of the nineteenth century needed an adman to tell them what they wanted."

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Fred Allen
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
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Fred Allen
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
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Fred Allen
"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
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Fred Allen
"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars."
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Fred Allen
"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
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Fred Allen
"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
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Fred Allen
"Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you."
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Fred Allen
"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
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Fred Allen
"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."
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Fred Allen
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
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