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Fred Allen

"Television is the triumph of machine over people."

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"Television is the triumph of machine over people."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Donna Grant

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Donna Grant

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Donna Grant

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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Donna Grant

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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Donna Grant

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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Donna Grant

"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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Donna Grant

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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Donna Grant

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Donna Grant

"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

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Fred Allen
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
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"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
Man,
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Fred Allen
"I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin."
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Fred Allen
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
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Fred Allen
"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
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Fred Allen
"The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi."
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Fred Allen
"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
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Fred Allen
"During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk."
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Fred Allen
"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."
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Fred Allen
"If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race."
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