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"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."
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"If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb enough to turn it down."
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"Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."
"I do dumb stuff, like playing my favorite dumb Barry White song and lip-synching into the mirror so it looks like his voice is coming out of my mouth."
"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."
"Maybe these kids are just too young and too dumb to know about the first 13. Maybe they can't comprehend that the Braves have only won one World Series in those 13 years."
"Innocence always calls mutely for protection when we would be so much wiser to guard ourselves against it: innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."
Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers
"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
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