"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."

Dumb,

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"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."

Exlpore more Dumb quotes

"If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb enough to turn it down."

Elizabeth Taylor, English Actress

Dumb,

"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."

Richard P. Feynman, American Physicist

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"I do dumb stuff, like playing my favorite dumb Barry White song and lip-synching into the mirror so it looks like his voice is coming out of my mouth."

Lynda Barry, American Cartoonist

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"Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."

Graham Greene, British Playwright

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"I remember working with Rod, though, on Chrysler Hour. I was too young and dumb to know that I was supposed to be scared of anybody or anything - like getting fired or anything like that."

Sally Kellerman, American Actress

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"Maybe these kids are just too young and too dumb to know about the first 13. Maybe they can't comprehend that the Braves have only won one World Series in those 13 years."

Tim Hudson, American Baseball Player

Dumb, First, Kids, World

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."

Dolly Parton, American Musician

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"Don't dumb it down. The audience is smart and gets what you are doing."

Bruce Paltrow, American Producer

Dumb,

"I always said it was to be dumb enough to do what Marlon Perkins said to do."

Jim Fowler, American Scientist

Dumb,

"I had to go to a mirror and look at it. I couldn't picture myself in my own head. I had no image beyond a stick figure. I wasn't a mean person as a kid, or dumb, and something has to be said to justify excluding you."

Uma Thurman, American Actress

Dumb,

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

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"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."

Money

"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."

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"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."

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"Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top."

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"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."

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"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."

Audience

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Exlpore more Dumb quotes

"If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb enough to turn it down."

"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."

"I do dumb stuff, like playing my favorite dumb Barry White song and lip-synching into the mirror so it looks like his voice is coming out of my mouth."

"Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."

"I remember working with Rod, though, on Chrysler Hour. I was too young and dumb to know that I was supposed to be scared of anybody or anything - like getting fired or anything like that."

"Maybe these kids are just too young and too dumb to know about the first 13. Maybe they can't comprehend that the Braves have only won one World Series in those 13 years."

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."

"Don't dumb it down. The audience is smart and gets what you are doing."

"I always said it was to be dumb enough to do what Marlon Perkins said to do."

"I had to go to a mirror and look at it. I couldn't picture myself in my own head. I had no image beyond a stick figure. I wasn't a mean person as a kid, or dumb, and something has to be said to justify excluding you."

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."

"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."

"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."

"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."

"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."

"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."

"Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top."

"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."

"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."