"I routinely inform people when I meet them that I am like a real life version of Dory the fish, as I am very forgetful and have problems tracking conversations."

Humor, Forgetfulness, Memory, Identity, Conversation

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"I routinely inform people when I meet them that I am like a real life version of Dory the fish, as I am very forgetful and have problems tracking conversations."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Humor, Clocks, Future, Right

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Laughter, Truth, Happiness, Life

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Happiness, Truth, Wisdom

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Happiness, Truth, Inspirational, Power

"Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Nonsense, Truth, Wisdom

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Truth, Today, Power

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Jealousy, Doubt, Friendship

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

Explore more quotes by Steven Magee

"The USA has a long history of radiation damaging workers health."

Justice

"The brain is both an emitter and a receiver of many forms of electromagnetic energy. There are fields of various forms around all living things, some we know about and others have yet to be documented."

Science

"Corporations and their government minions are capable of anything...just look at the frauds the recent wars became known as. Hundreds of thousands killed in the name of corporate "liberation"."

Politics

"People who have metal implants should be familiar with the symptoms of radio wave sickness and should keep their environment free of wireless radiation producing products."

Science

"The fraudulent electrical utility company in conjunction with the corrupt sheriff taught me that an Englishman's home is not his castle."

Justice

"The amount of people I met that had heart problems surprised me in high altitude astronomy. I had not seen it in other fields. After a decade of working at high altitudes, I was also diagnosed with a heart problem."

Health

"Windows 10 on both an old 2011 upgraded computer and a new 2016 computer was an excruciating experience."

Technology

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

"Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all."

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Explore more quotes by Steven Magee

"The USA has a long history of radiation damaging workers health."

"The brain is both an emitter and a receiver of many forms of electromagnetic energy. There are fields of various forms around all living things, some we know about and others have yet to be documented."

"It is the common peoples duty to police the police."

"Politics, it's all corrupt!"

"Corporate governments are as corrupt as their law enforcement departments."

"Corporations and their government minions are capable of anything...just look at the frauds the recent wars became known as. Hundreds of thousands killed in the name of corporate "liberation"."

"People who have metal implants should be familiar with the symptoms of radio wave sickness and should keep their environment free of wireless radiation producing products."

"The fraudulent electrical utility company in conjunction with the corrupt sheriff taught me that an Englishman's home is not his castle."

"The amount of people I met that had heart problems surprised me in high altitude astronomy. I had not seen it in other fields. After a decade of working at high altitudes, I was also diagnosed with a heart problem."

"Windows 10 on both an old 2011 upgraded computer and a new 2016 computer was an excruciating experience."