"A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags."

Humor, Materialism, Love, Truth, Observation

32

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

Cherise Sinclair, American Author

Humor, Anticipation, Adventure, Secrecy

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

Humor, Wit

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Amber Tamblyn, American Actress

Humor, Religion, God, Sense

"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."

Cormac McCarthy, American Writer

Humor, Women, Men, Aging, Experience

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

Explore more quotes by Sophie Kinsella

"They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail."

Betrayal

"If you can't be honest with your friends and colleagues and loved ones, then what is life all about?"

Integrity

"Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me."

Fear

"Okay. Now my skin is really prickling. I've read all the Harry Potter books, all five of them. I don't remember any half-blood prince."What's this?" Trying to sound casual, I point at the ad, "What's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?""That's the latest book," Garth the other trainee, says. "It came out ages ago."I can't help gasping. "There's a sixth Harry Potter?""There's a seventh out soon!" Diana steps forward eagerly. "And guess what happens at the end of book six-""Shh!" exclaims Nicole, the other nurse. "Don't tell her!"

Curiosity

"You can't even communicate in English. Real life is not a series of levels."

Social

"I need to backtrack. I need to reboot.Do not save changes."

Renewal

"Every time you see someone's bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do. And every time you see your own crappy truth and feel despair and think, 'Is this my life?', remember: It's not. Everyone's got a bright-and-shiny, even if it's hard to find sometimes."

Truth

"There's no luck in business. There's only drive, determination, and more drive."

Motivation

"She says screens are the cigarettes of our age. They're toxic, and we're only going to realize the damage they're doing when it's too late."

Awareness

"If your life's at a juncture and you need to think about things, there's nowhere better than home. However old you are."

Home