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"Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count."
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"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
"A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart."
"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."
"To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it."
Explore more quotes by Neil Simon
"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending."
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
"Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18."
"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
"You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy."
"Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life."
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