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"You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery."
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"The fortune which nobody sees makes a person happy and unenvied."

"There is a kind of elevation which does not depend on fortune; it is a certain air which distinguishes us, and seems to destine us for great things; it is a price which we imperceptibly set upon ourselves."

"We do not know what is really good or bad fortune."

"Therefore if a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible."

"Fortune is like the market, where, many times, if you can stay a little, the price will fall."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."

"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
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