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P. J. O'Rourke

"Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland."

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"Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland."

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"It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines."

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"How can the mind take hold of such a country? Generations of invaders have tried, but they remain in exile. The important towns they build are only retreats, their quarrels the malaise of men who cannot find their way home. India knows of their trouble. She knows of the whole world's trouble, to its uttermost depth. She calls "Come" through her hundred mouths, through objects ridiculous and august. But come to what? She has never defined. She is not a promise, only an appeal."

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"I grew up in Columbus, Indiana, a kind of industrial and farmland place."

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"Manhattan is a narrow island off the coast of New Jersey devoted to the pursuit of lunch."

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"The silver Thames takes some part of this county in its journey to Oxford."

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"Africa had a way of coming back and simply covering everything up again."

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"Ghana, a land full of Gold! Africa, a land full of resources!"

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"Washington is an endless series of mock palaces clearly built for clerks."

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"Spring has many American faces. There are cities where it will come and go in a day and counties where it hangs around and never quite gets there. Summer is drawn blinds in Louisiana, long winds in Wyoming, shade of elms and maples in New England."

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Akiroq Brost

"An insuperable obstacle to rapid transit in Africa is the want of carriers, and as speed was the main object of the Expedition under my command, my duty was to lessen this difficulty as much as possible."

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"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
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"The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block, one-room design with a door and a window, arranged one-up, one-down, often with a shop with nothing in it on the first floor, and then a one-room apartment above it. There's street after street after street of that stuff."
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"I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements."
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"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
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"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
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"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
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"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."
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"Never fight an inanimate object."
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"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
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"The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows."
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