"I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day."

Day,

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"I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day."

Exlpore more Day quotes

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Day,

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

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"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Day, Man, Night, Self

"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

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"Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either."

Henry Ward Beecher, American Clergyman

Day, Laughter, Night, Smile

"When I was growing up, there were just the three channels, so as a nation we all sat down to the same meal at the end of the day. Now there's been this explosion."

Rory Bremner, British Comedian

Day, End, Growing up, Nation

"I'll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing."

John Deacon, British Musician

Day, Nothing

"I live every day to its fullest extent and I don't sweat the small stuff."

Olivia Newton-John, Australian Musician

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"I'm so happy to have been a part of that process and I would go straight back into the desert in a ton of chain mail for Ridley any day of the week. He's an amazing director and I can't wait to see the long version."

Orlando Bloom, English Actor

Day, Mail

"I have a great husband, great parents and in-laws, and I have help with a nanny. It's not easy, but there are others who do it every day and don't have a high-profile job as I do."

Marlee Matlin, American Actress

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Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."

People,

"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."

Time,

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

Gambling, Play

"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."

People, Eyes

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

Time, People, Night

"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People,

"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."

Want,

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun, Machine, Want, Will

"I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it."

People, Compliment, Name

"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

Water,