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P. J. O'Rourke

"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."

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"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

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"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."

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"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
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"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
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"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
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"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
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"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner."
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