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"If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night."
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"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
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Personal Development
"Dread of night. Dread of not-night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm afraid of the dark, so I have a lot of night-lights."
Author Name
Personal Development
"How lovely are the portals of the night, when stars come out to watch the daylight die."
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Personal Development
"You noticed from last night, we only did two from the 80s. And our set's two hours long."
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Personal Development
"The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'd still prefer to do five nights at a club than one night at Allstate Arena."
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Personal Development
"We didn't let a night go by that we didn't play."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I remember in the early days when we played six nights a week for a month and I was doing my long drum solo every night. My hands were covered in blisters."
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Personal Development
"I want to feel lucky every night when I go onstage, and not feel like, 'Oh, great, here we go again."
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Personal Development
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"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."
Act
"That's life when you're on the D-list."
Life
"A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor."
Humor
"I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men."
Men
"Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true."
Care
"I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard."
Cancer
"Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand."
Name
"The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are."
Beauty
"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."
Friendship
"My act is based on my life."
Life
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