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Mark Twain

"Kill the women? No, nobody ever saw anything in the books like that. You fetch them to the cave, and you're always as polite as pie to them; and by-and-by they fall in love with you and never want to go home any more."

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"Kill the women? No, nobody ever saw anything in the books like that. You fetch them to the cave, and you're always as polite as pie to them; and by-and-by they fall in love with you and never want to go home any more."

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"Our relationship must be right with God before it can be right with man."

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"Was Deirdre right about me purposely wanting relationships that were impossible?"

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"Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn't matter only feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you-that would be the real betrayal."

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"Go! Yes, You! Go! I will not force you to like me; I will not force you to love me. Unconditional love has a condition inside it but there is no you in me. If I know my real me, then I know your real you. I know your value in me and I also know my value in you. If your value is not in me and my value is not in you, then I will not force you to like me; I will not force you to love me, so go!"

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"Things had improved after he was born. We both loved him with such fervor that it was impossible that some wouldn't splash back on us."

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Mark Twain
"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
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"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."
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"It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected."
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"He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'."
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"I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself."
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Mark Twain
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."
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Mark Twain
"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin."
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"From his cradle to the grave a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object save one-to secure peace of mind spiritual comfort for himself."
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"The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people."
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Mark Twain
"I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it."
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