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"He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap."Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security....Turn around, please.""What?""Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!""You have GOT to be kidding.""Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn."
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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
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Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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Personal Development
"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
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Personal Development
"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."
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"One thing you learn early growing up a girl--people always talk, whatever you do,' Glain said. 'What bliss it must be to be male."
Society
"And without forgiveness, there is never any peace."
Peace
"Does it give you deja voodoo how alike the houses are?""That's deja vu, and I hate you right now.""For narcing on you to your mom? Wait until you hear what I tell your dad."From the sly grin on his face, she knew what he was thinking."Don't you even think about it.""I could tell him about the time we-""Hell, no."
Humor
"You'd be surprised what people will do for money that they wouldn't do forlove.Myrnin."
Morality
"He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said, "Let me take a look at him. Shane?""I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front."
Humor
"In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me."
Reality
"I had a good teacher.""Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass.""I mean you, dummy."
Friendship
"Don't run I never liked fast food."
Humor
"I can handle Glory." "Can you?" Eve asked. "Because I notice you never call her Gloriana. Just Glory." He shut up. Which is probably about the only smart thing he can do, Claire thought."
Humor
"Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that."
Humor
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