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David Letterman

"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."

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"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."

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"Now how many people in their heart of hearts in that community want to see the demise of this country? How many would cheer, not out loud maybe, but in their heart when things like 9/11 occur and I'll tell you; it's a majority among them."

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"You've got people who are looking at DNA evidence and other evidence like that and they're ignoring it."

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"People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do."

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"Well, of course, people are only human... But it really does not seem much for them to be."

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David Letterman
"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
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"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
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"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."
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"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."
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"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."
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"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
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"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
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"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral."
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