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David Letterman

"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."

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"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

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"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."

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"What had begun as a movement to free all black people from racist oppression became a movement with its primary goal the establishment of black male patriarchy."

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"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't want my books to exclude anyone, but if they have to, then I would rather they excluded the people who feel they are too smart for them!"

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Amber Hurdle

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

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Amber Hurdle

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

Explore more quotes by David Letterman

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David Letterman
"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
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"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."
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David Letterman
"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."
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David Letterman
"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
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David Letterman
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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David Letterman
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
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David Letterman
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
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David Letterman
"I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red."
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David Letterman
"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
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"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
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